I won’t name names, but you know who you are, and you know what you’ve done. I just want you to know, without question, that we are finally over. The days of you hurting me are over. I’ve made a decision here and now, and that’s that you will never… hurt me… again.
Before I just let you off the hook that easily, I still have a few things I need to get off my chest. I need you to know and understand what you’ve done to me, and what you’ve taken from me.
You’ve taken my youth, my sanity, even my self esteem. You have been hurtful and cruel. You’ve told me a massive amount of lies, and you made me believe things about myself that just weren’t true; that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t strong enough, that I wasn’t pretty enough, and worst of all, that I just plain wasn’t enough. You made me doubt myself, you made me question myself, all of my choices, all of my decisions. You made me believe I was going crazy, that I was out of my mind.
When good things would start to happen for me, you’d always find a way to ruin it for me. You’d convince me I wasn’t deserving of them. When bad things would happen to me, you’d never defend me, never stick up for me, because somehow you believed I had brought it upon myself, and you convinced me of the same.
You literally ruined my life. You practically took it away from me, and countless times, you nearly made me want to give up on everything.
When I needed love, you weren’t there. When I needed comfort, you weren’t there. When I needed protection, you weren’t there. All you fed me was negativity. And I ate it all up.
I’ve finally realized that I’m full. I’m strong, I’m enough, and I’m done letting you hurt me. I might have been a weak little girl once upon a time, who believed all the horrible things you wanted me to believe about myself, but no more. Now the gloves come off, the warrior inside me has been unleashed, and where I used to choose flight, I now choose to fight.
You can’t win with me anymore, you can’t break my spirit, or my soul. I won’t let you. I’ll never let you again. I’m not your puppet. I’m a phoenix who will rise above all the ashes you have left me with.
I hope I’ve made myself clear. Don’t think I’m going to change my mind tomorrow when you try to convince me that you really care. That you’re my friend. Because you are not my friend. You are now nothing but my enemy, and I will fight with everything I have to ensure you never get close to my heart and mind again.
I know I said I wouldn’t name names, but that’s only because you have too many of them. Whether I call you my irrational fear, my anxiety, my mental illness, my ego, my pride, or my insecurity, none of those are strong enough to express my disdain for you and what you’ve done to my life.
So just know this, that from today forward, anytime I look into the mirror, and see you looking back at me with that evil glimmer of hope in your eyes, thinking you can hurt me again, I will blow you a kiss and walk away from you.
Every… single… time.
