There you are, minding your holiday business when someone’s dysfunction crashes into your spirit. It may be your family members, your coworkers, or even your close friends.
There’s a lot of Grinches and Scrooges lurking out there and they have the potential to rub off on you if you don’t set healthy boundaries. There are a lot of reasons why people aren’t at their best during the holidays, but their bad mood doesn’t have to affect you when you are ready, willing, and able to set boundaries and protect yourself from their negativity.
Here are the steps you need to set healthy boundaries for a joyful season:
Step 1. Be aware
Some people are just going to be negative. Be aware. Be on the alert for people who have bad attitudes. Keep your radar up and recognize them quickly. Recognizing someone is negative or draining can help you set up your boundaries quickly.
Step 2. Have a plan
Prevention is worth more than the cure. That means it’s easier to prevent a problem than it is to overcome it once you’re in it. Having a plan for dealing with difficult people ahead of time helps. If you encounter a rude person during check out in the store, resolve not to take it personally or match their mood. Have a plan to be kind no matter what. You may even help make their day better with your bright attitude.
Step 3. Work the plan
It’s one thing to have a plan and another to execute it. When people test your boundaries it’s sometimes hard to stay calm and use your plan. Practice makes perfect. The more intentional you are about setting healthy boundaries, the easier it will be. People will push up against your limits, but itís worth it to stick to your plan. Don’t allow negative people to affect or infect your holiday spirit.
Here are a few simple boundaries that can help make your season joyful:
Boundary #1 – No gossip.
Keep your holiday gatherings positive by refusing to gossip about other people or negative situations. As soon as you hear someone trying to pull you into gossip, shut it down by saying, “I’d really rather talk about what’s going on with you,” or just simply excuse yourself from the conversation.
Boundary #2 – No guilt.
Keep your joy this holiday by refusing to feel guilty when you need to decline an invitation or choose not to participate in an activity. You have the right to decide what works for you and what doesn’t so don’t waste time worrying about how others feel about your decisions.
Boundary #3 – No reactions.
It’s unrealistic to think someone won’t be confrontational or challenge your boundaries. Keep calm and remember you are not responsible for how someone else reacts to you. You are responsible for your own behavior. Staying calm and rational is always the best way.
Sometimes finding the joy in the season is intentional. There are a lot of people who are void of holiday spirit and that can cause problems. Hold and keep strong boundaries to protect yourself and help keep your holiday spirit intact.
